Invitations and Insults

June 20, 2000

We are planning a cookout and invited the entire neighborhood.  It was a beautiful day so Angie and I took a walk and delivered invitations to our new neighbors and we hoped potential friends.  For the most part it was well received and people seemed excited to come over and asked what they could bring.  Of course I had to tell them that Angie would be cooking for about 300 because she all too often gets carried away with parties but anything would be appreciated! 

When we went to Seth’s house to tell them about our festivities they seemed like they were upset about something.  We sat on the porch; sipped some sweet tea and they shared with us their first negative experience in Olde Town East.  Apparently they were at the grocery store and an older African-American couple approached them and asked if they were part of the “homos that were taking over their neighborhood”.  Seth took it with a grain of salt and laughed and said that yes, they were in fact those crazy gay guys who were lucky enough to find a home together in such a wonderful place.  The couple glared and told them it was a lot more wonderful without all the homos coming in and changing everything.  Seth tried to stay calm and said “Maybe its time for a little change around here”.  The parting words from the disapproving couple were “Maybe its time for you and all the rest of them homos to leave and go straight to hell”. 

We all sat and discussed how this made us feel.  For me, the most disheartening part was the fact that African-Americans have historically been discriminated against and have experienced hatred.  To imagine that a group that has overcome so much prejudice would promote further hatred towards another minority group is mind-blowing to me.  Since when did life become every man for himself? 

A few days later I overheard two African-American gentlemen talking at our town meeting about how he removed his son from one first grade class into another because the teacher was rumored to be gay.  The man was adamant about defending his opinion and went as far as to say that even though the gay teacher was by far the better teacher- he wasn’t going to let his only son suffer and have to endure an entire academic year with a gay for a teacher. 

Why would that child be considered to be suffering?  I think that people honestly sometimes believe that all gay people are these flamboyant individuals who are contagious and want to convince every other people to be gay too.  In reality, we want to get our eggs at the grocery store and go to work Monday-Friday and have kids and share memories with the people we love.  How is that any different that a same-sex couple?

This neighborhood is challenging me to have patience but it also creating a strong will and fire in me.  I will not let anyone tell me who I should be.